Read more ketchup than salsa by Joe Cawley Online


Have you ever thought about making a new life abroad? "Dreams can come true!" "Fantastic, hilarious, painful. Completely un-put-downable. Probably the best book I have read this millenium!""If you buy one book this year... get this!""Brilliant book... very funny...""It was while holding aloft a not altogether pleasant-smelling mackerel that the decision was made. The Marc Have you ever thought about making a new life abroad?"Dreams can come true!" "Fantastic, hilarious, painful. Completely un-put-downable. Probably the best book I have read this millenium!""If you buy one book this year... get this!""Brilliant book... very funny...""It was while holding aloft a not altogether pleasant-smelling mackerel that the decision was made. The March rain hammered on the rotting tin roof high above the market stall, where I had spent the last six months pushing out dubious trays of marine life at three for a fiver. After a two-week holiday in Tenerife, one of Spain's Canary Islands, Joy and I vowed that a life in fish giblets was not going to be our destiny and a life in the sun, was.A complete lack of catering experience, zero business acumen and the sum of our vastly wealth barely reaching waist level of a ceramic pig did little to deter our enthusiasm. “Where do we sign?” we replied. And then the whole silly, sunny saga began..." Joe CawleyWhen Joe and his girlfriend Joy decide to trade in their life on a cold Lancashire fish market to run a bar in the Tenerife sunshine, they anticipate a paradise of sea, sand and siestas. Little did they expect their foreign fantasy to turn out to be about as exotic as a wet Monday morning.Amidst a host of eccentric locals, homesickness and the occasional cockroach infestation, pint-pulling novices Joe and Joy struggle with the expat culture and learn that, although the skies might be bluer, the grass is definitely not always greener. An hilarious travelogue exposing the wild and wacky characters of an expat community in a familiar holiday destination, More Ketchup than Salsa is full of humor and is a must-read travel memoir for anybody who has ever dreamed about moving abroad, finding a job overseas or even momentarily flirted with the idea of 'doing a Shirley Valentine' in these trying economic times. More Ketchup than Salsa - a funny travel memoir like no other! "Dreams can come true""Great book! A real page-turning real life read!""A book full of laughter and tears.""Joe's travel writing in itself is of a very high standard - descriptive, funny, observant."" far the best book I have read in years" ˃˃˃ "One of those 'Just one more chapter then I'll turn the light out' books... before you know it the sun is rising! Couldn't put it down!" ...

Title : more ketchup than salsa
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 13060400
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 374 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

more ketchup than salsa Reviews

  • Joe Cawley
    2019-03-21 02:41

    Marvellous... but then I am a bit biased ; )Joe Cawley

  • Karl Wiggins
    2019-03-25 08:59

    Okay.Having lived on The Algarve for fours years myself, where most of our friends were bar owners, I can totally relate to the issues faced by Joe and Joy in the Canary Islands.This is a MUST READ for anyone who's contemplating flying out to the Costa Brava, Malta, Cyprus, Tenerife or Portugal to buy a bar and become a millionaire. These Johnny-come-latelies, as we used to call them, haven't a clue what they letting themselves in for. They honestly believe all they have to do is sit at the end of the bar smoking fat cigars and - ka-ching! - watch the bank balance grow day by day.However, the book is written as if Joe has just finished a Creative Writing class, which is a little frustrating. It's often hard to remember who all the characters are, although they're exactly the same characters you'll find in any ex-pat community across the globe.I love the way Joe refers to the chief gangster on the island as JP, as if anyone wouldn't know who JP is - he might as well have called him Al Capone or Ronnie Kray!

  • Susan
    2019-03-29 09:44

    This book should come with a warning! It's one of those books you can't put down until you finish reading. I was sitting in a cafe when I first opened this book. Breakfast patrons came and left, the lunchtime crowd disappeared and late afternoon I ordered another coffee to justify occupying a table for most of the day!Joe's descriptions of moments in time and sense of place does what only great travel writing can do. Such observed writing gives us colours,flavours, imagery, customs - as if postcards arrive in our mailbox, sent by the Author, from a faraway place.There is a universal question the author asked himself. Am I really doing what I want in my life." And is he going to do anything about it? Well yes, he upends his entire comfort zone in preference of the unknown and intangible. Nothing short, I thought, of an act of social bravery. Many people dream of running a bar abroad. They sell up everything but often return broken from the experience. Changing everything and moving abroad to run a business is exactly what Joe does. Joe leaves his mind-numbing but comfortable job " of no binding allegiance" and commits to doing something that has no way out. Something that he and his partners have to see through whether they liked it or not. Joe took responsibility for his own future. I liked the universal theme of bravery, hope and optimism. You see human endeavor in action- how hard work, tenacity, drive, zest for new experiences, with a helping of luck- actually pays off. It's one huge learning curve of trial and error, of "meddling in the dark, learning by mistakes and bluffing when all else fails"; not deterred by thieving staff, squatting prostitutes, local bureaucracy, laws and language differences- which makes for an inspirational read.

  • George Mahood
    2019-04-10 07:02

    I absolutely LOVED this book! Reading it felt like I was peering through the window on the soap opera (and, more often than not, sitcom) that is Joe and Joy's life. Despite the trials and tribulations and all of the pitfalls that beset them, you still get an underlying sense - through Joe's clever, witty writing - that moving to Tenerife was the best thing he ever did. Fantastic book - would highly recommend it. Looking forward to the sequel.

  • Elizabeth Ducie
    2019-03-28 06:59

    Joe Cawley doesn't pull any punches in this well-written account, funny and heart-breaking by turns, of the first six months of a new life for Joe and Joy: exchanging a fish stall in Bolton for running a bar in Tenerife. The list of characters will be familiar to anyone who has ever spent time in an ex-pat community and the description of driving conditions will ring bells with anyone who has ever experienced the white-knuckle ride of a southern European motorway. The fact that I was reading it while on holiday in Tenerife made it all the more real, even if the experiences described took place over 25 years ago. A good, easy read, recommended for anyone who likes travel writing, or especially for anyone interested in living and working abroad.

  • Tony Slater
    2019-03-21 08:45

    Wow. This book really brought it home, just how hard it can be to achieve your dreams. Living in paradise is never as easy as it seems, and for some people – like Joe Cawley and his semi-dysfunctional family group – it is really, REALLY hard!I loved this book. It made me laugh, there were tense moments, nerve-wracking ones, and some that would have made me tear up if I was less of a man. Ahem. In fact this book really involved me in the lives of its characters, to such a degree that I found myself dreading their next shift in the bar for them, cheering their triumphs (without giving anything away), wanting to slap them on occasion and having the urge to give certain other characters a bloody good hiding!Yes, this book had it all. I strongly recommend it to anyone, especially those in need of a laugh. You don’t need to give a fig about Tenerife to enjoy this crazy rollercoaster of a story – but by the end of it, you’ll be glad you’re here reading about it and laughing, rather than being there with them…It’s a 5 star vote from me.

  • P. Christopher Colter
    2019-03-23 09:52

    If you've ever thought about ditching your blah, everyday job in a cold climate and starting all over on a sunny tropical island, read this book first! It's the story of Joe, his girlfriend, his brother, and his brother's wife, as they uproot from working in a damp fish market in England and restart life as bar owners in the Canary Islands. The four meet with their fair share of struggles, crises, adventures, and a parade of interesting characters. Cawley balances everything very well here. The language is descriptive without being distracting, and the content is humorous yet entirely believable as fact. It's real life, well-told. Though it is written from a distinctly British point of view, I didn't find any problem relating to it as the "bloody Yank" that I am. A recommended read for anyone!

  • Janet
    2019-04-15 07:06

    Joe and Joy abandon their jobs in Bolton Fish Market and buy The Smugglers Tavern in El Beril, Tenerife along with Joe´s brother David and his wife Faith. They quickly find out that running a bar/restaurant is physically and emotionally hard work 18 hour days, 7 days a week; especially when confronted with the relentless heat, red tape, a catalogue of disasters, infernal cockroaches and the Eternal Brit Abroad mentality of their customers. Joe Crawley his unique style of humour into even the most dire of disasters as he describes the maiden year of The Smuggler´s Tavern.

  • Nicole* Nicole*
    2019-03-21 06:42

    A must for anyone who has moved abroad or is thinking about doing so. It is easy to read, highly amusing and scarily true.

  • Pat Ellis
    2019-03-26 09:54

    Enjoyable read - Witty, well written memoir - I am a sucker for the 'moving abroad' genre - this one didn't disappoint.

  • Kaz
    2019-04-18 01:55

    It was a quite entertaining book. I did not know where Tenerife is until I looked on the Internet. It is the largest island of Canary Island, which belongs to Spain, but its location is closer to Morocco than to Spain. By the way, I had lived in Hawaii and Key West for a few years. Before I started reading the book, I expected to read the similar wackiness of people in Key West. I soon found I was wrong. British are much more shy than American, and other Europeans are also different from Americans. Scenery-wise, Tenerife reminds me of the Big Island of Hawaii, which is also a volcanic island. So, basically I started imagining the scenery of the Big Island of Hawaii plus unique Europeans & Tenerife locals while I was reading this book.Some details, such as hot weather and insects' problem, are common in tropical islands. Problems of running a bar are somewhat close to what I imagined from my experience in Key West. I wish I could make my husband, who occasionally talks about owning a bar, read this book(, but unfortunately he doesn't read much...). If you can vomit in toilet, that tells your toilet is very much cleaner than... some others' I've seen. I enjoyed reading the experience of Joy and Joe as bar's new owners in the new place. I especially admired the patience of these two people. Because they loved people, they had overcome obstacles with helps from Tenerife's locals. I don't need to have a bite at the Smuggelrs, but it would be fun to have a drink there and watch Buster :)

  • Jane
    2019-04-08 08:01

    First, let me tell you that More Ketchup than Salsa has no recipes for either ~ I was in search for something new to make for dinner the day I downloaded this book. Now that I have read it, it is a very funny story written with dry British humor.The variety of characters that visited the bar as Joe, Joy, David and Faith until she gave it all up was quite funny. They adjusted to the responsibilities of owning and operating a bar in a resort area with ever changing customers. It is written from Joe's point of view and his insights into the crazies of operating a bar/restaurant when none of them knew what they were doing. It was a sink or swim situation and with determination, learning on the job and keeping a positive attitude they made the first six months, the mile stone test for success. Living on an island in the tropics compared to the no future job selling fish in Bolton's Fish Market was worth all the stress and putting up with the conglomerate of the population the frequented the bar know as Smuggler's Tavern. It was written with very funny dry British humor, often sarcastic, which is my favorite kind of humor; I enjoyed reading this account of owning a business in paradise, cockroaches an all.

  • Linda Parkinson-Hardman
    2019-03-22 05:57

    I would defy anyone who has ever lived in the UK, or anywhere else that is often cold, wet and rainy, not to say that they have had a secret yearning to change their life by heading for a life abroad. Every years, millions of us make the cattle class journey to European resorts and we watch the Brit’s who have made it, those who live permanently in our holiday destinations, with envy, thinking ‘what if‘. But, is the grass always greener in the sun? Of course not, it’s usually non-existent, the landscape can be barren and you definitely don’t get the manicured countryside that I love about Britain.In More Ketchup than Salsa, Joe had me laughing so hard that I spilled a cup of tea all over the bed. His tale of travelling from Bolton Fish Market to Tenerife Costa del Bognor opens up the can of worms that most of us never even consider when we are sitting sipping coffee on a terrace and dreaming. His daily battles with cockroaches, the local mafia, animals and the never ending variety of people that stepped through his door, was the wake up call I needed to think again about what it was I might just do if I ever decided to take the plunge and live abroad. This is the perfect book to take on holiday with you especially if you are already planning to make that move.

  • Stephanie
    2019-04-12 08:56

    If you ever dreamed about owning a bar on a gorgeous island this book will probably bring you back to reality. Cawley gets real about being a business owner on a popular vacation spot for the Brits. On Tenerife life seems great unless you have to work 14 hour days. It isn't until he and his girlfriend Joy have been on the island six months that they even go to the beach.This book started out really strong. Cawley humorously recounted their transition from fish market workers to bar owners. Unfortunately, about 2/3 of the way through the book I started to get bored. He seemed to be dragging it out unnecessarily. I wanted to know more of the gritty details like the effect of the bar on his relationship with Joy, if it was profitable, etc. He focused more on cockroaches (GROSS) and the customers.It's a fun summer read if only because Cawley does a great job describing the island. The book is the epitome of a non-fiction beach read.I doubt I will read his sequel probably due out this year. I just didn't love this book at the end as much as I did at the beginning and in the middle.

  • Chris
    2019-04-18 08:48

    If your looking for a light hearted read to get you in the mood for your summer holiday this year then this could well be exactly what your looking for. Anyone who has ever been to a spanish holiday resort will relate to almost very page of this rib tickling tale, even as tourists and not bar owners, the way joe tells his story brings you in buys you a beer and welcomes you to the sun. Personally i have lived in various resorts in spain and experienced the highs and lows of working in the spanish sun and although some people will read bits of this book and say "nah that never happened" believe me knowing the expat communities over there- it'll all be true and there's probably a lot more tales to tell.Joe has knack of endearing you to his characters, so you don't just read about Joy, Frank, David and the others you laugh with them cry with them and feel their frustration at times with less than congenial customers. Don't be fooled into thinking this is just another story of brits abroad, it's a book of fears, laughter, blood sweat and tears not to mention a cold beer or two. Put up the parasol grab your flip flops and enjoy!

  • Rebecca Hislop
    2019-04-09 06:10

    A really enjoyable and entertaining read. Joe and Joy his brother David and his wife Faith swap the grey skies of Bolton to run a bar in El Beril, Tenerife. If anyone ever thinks it must be marvellous to run a bar on a sunshine holiday island – think again! They quickly find that it is fraught with difficulties not the least being the Spanish Banks and other authorities. Joe has a marvellous eye for detail and his descriptions of the expat community and British holiday makers is brutally accurate! I’m thankful never to have said to any Bar owner ‘it must be great to work and live here’ ! However depite everything they make a success of running the Smugglers Tavern. I enjoyed it so much I had to download the next instalment of More Ketchup.

  • Nikki Bywater
    2019-04-01 07:51

    Confessions of a Tenerife BarmanWhen Joe and girlfriend Joy decide to swap their lives living in Bolton and working at the local market on a seafood stall, for a life of sunshine and sand running a British themed pub restaurant in Tenerife, they soon find out that living and working in a busy holiday resort and amongst ex-pats is full of mishaps and their dreams become a reality and reality bites.This is a really funny and entertaining book. Joe gives an honest and humorous account shared in anecdotes that are extremely well written and you can not help laughing at the situations the couple find themselves in and at the same time really hoping that all works out well for them in the end.

  • Linda Fode
    2019-04-17 02:03

    This was the most entertaining book I've read in years. Having come from British stock & having lived for a season as a Canadian expat in the UK , I resonated with the adventures of the Cawleys. We may speak the same language but the interpretation varies wildly. I can't wait to download the next adventure. Joe has given me permission to resurrect my understated wit & humour . I'll be using it in my writing. Let's have a virtual cuppa soon!

  • Jay Artale
    2019-03-27 05:47

    Enjoyable read. Joe's a good storyteller. I pulled up a high stool at the bar and engrossed myself in the surrounding and characters of this Bar in Spain. Any thoughts of running my own bar in sunny lands has flown out the window. But it was great to live vicariously by Joe for a couple of months.

  • Teresa
    2019-04-13 07:59

    A laugh on every page!I thoroughly enjoyed every chapter! Even though I have never been to the Canary Islands I could "see" the bar and all the "locals". That to me is the sign of a good book. I read for my satisfaction. A FIVE STAR must eat.I hope that the rest of the series is s good.

  • Rowena Vaughan
    2019-03-22 08:51

    If you ever thought that owning and running a bar at a holiday resort would be easy - read this and disabuse yourself of those thoughts. A fun, light book about the trials and tribulations of being a bar/restaurant owner. Tenerife, tantrums and toil!

  • Sonia
    2019-04-03 08:50

    Okay, I'm not going to lie...I'm still not sure if this book was a work of fiction, or the author's re-telling of his personal story. BUT...I don't really care. I really enjoyed reading it, and I could hardly put it down. It was well written, captivating, entertaining and funny.

  • Linda Austin
    2019-04-09 01:45

    I could not put this down. From the freezing town of Bolton, where my family are from and I lived for a while, to sunny Tenerife and the people visiting The Smugglers every mad character that Joe and Joy met had me chuckling to myself. I can vouch that Bolton if cold and miserabe!!

  • Lelina
    2019-04-06 05:43

    A very funny & fast read! Anyone who's ever lived or worked abroad will be able to relate. I really found myself rooting for the main characters throughout, and gave a silent cheer every time they overcame a new obstacle. Hopefully, there's a sequel in the works, as this is fertile material indeed!

  • Juliet
    2019-04-15 03:59

    amusing and engagingLots of funny moments in this memoir relating the move from cold Britain to tropical Tenerife. Well written, amusing and uplifting. If you like Bill Bryson, you'll enjoy this. Worth the read!

  • Sara
    2019-04-02 07:50

    Worst book I have ever read. The story was all over the place. It must be hard to write good humor. I would not recommend this book. Good thing it was a free book, I would have requested a refund. Hmmm I never gave a book one star.

  • Jack Thompson
    2019-03-21 06:43

    Pretty darned good.Twenty-something's pack up and move to the Canary Islands and buy a tourist bar. Found myself rooting for people I don't know in a place I'll never visit in a business that holds no interest for me. Go figure. And go Joe & Joy!

  • Judy Mccartney
    2019-04-15 03:10

    Interesting ebook on life for expats from England, moving to Tenerife and buying a bar and running it. Not knowing the language, having no experience in running a bar or restaurant, dealing with people from several countries speaking different languages. Easy read.

  • Suzie Sweeney
    2019-03-31 09:55

    Thoroughly enjoyed it - interesting characters and funny, downside I keep checking for creepy crawlies.

  • Jane(Janelba)
    2019-03-30 01:49

    Canary Islands - Tenerife