Read real vampires don t sparkle real vampires don t sparkle 1 by Amy Fecteau Online


Matheus Taylor didn’t ask to be murdered.To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless.His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn’t done with it yet. Quin didn’t care. A seventeen-hundred old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a differenMatheus Taylor didn’t ask to be murdered.To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless.His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn’t done with it yet. Quin didn’t care. A seventeen-hundred old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.Now, Matheus spends his nights running for his life, questioning his sexual orientation, and defying a mysterious new threat to the vampires within his city. Not that he set out to do any defying; he just wanted to be left alone.Unfortunately, that was never going to happen.Volume One of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle...

Title : real vampires don t sparkle real vampires don t sparkle 1
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 18006048
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 386 Pages
Status : Available For Download
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real vampires don t sparkle real vampires don t sparkle 1 Reviews

  • Emma Sea
    2019-05-25 03:05

    got to 3% and decided not to continue. It wasn't that there was anything wrong, but I wasn't enjoying the writing particularly, and I didn't connect with the MC. I guess I'm much more demanding now: I've got about 4680 weeks left to live, give or take, and I only want to spend them with really good books. Sadly, for me, this wasn't one.

  • Kristen Burns
    2019-05-07 22:36

    4 StarsReview:As much as I enjoy the typical vampire tropes, I also like when those tropes are turned on their heads, and that was one of my favorite things about this book. For one thing, these vampires were not all perfect and porcelain. In fact, Matheus described Quin as, "Not even his mother would have called him handsome, but people would have had a hard time forgetting his features." (But Matheus liked his snaggletooth <3) He also had darker skin, rather than the usual pale, because he was Roman. And Matheus was the clumsiest character I've ever read about---he must've tripped and fell 27 times throughout the book. For another thing, Quin didn't abandon Matheus or treat him horribly, the way sires often do. I'm also always thinking about how I want more books with baby vamps who grew up in current times and are just kind of adjusting to life as a vampire, and that was exactly what Matheus was. It was also funny that Quin was not a morning (or night, I guess) person since you just never read about vampires struggling to wake up and mumbling and trying to go back to sleep. Last but not least, feeding wasn't sexy, it was just feeding, which was admittedly disappointing since I like that trope, but still."You’re looking for a meal, not a date. Don’t confuse the two.”“I thought that was part of the package.”“Tell me, did you usually make out with your hamburgers before you ate them? The answer better be no, or you are on your own.”I have to admit though, I found this book funnier the first time I read it than I did the second. That's probably partly because I already knew the jokes, but I think it's also partly because I realized this time how judgmental and based-on-stereotypes some of Matheus's thoughts and jokes were. That was the only thing that bothered me about the book.There was still lots of other humor too though. Matheus, as I said, could be judgmental, and immature, but he was relatable in other ways as well as quippy and sarcastic. Quin was even more sarcastic when he wanted to be though. It's kinda funny, the first time I read this, I categorized it under my "favorite male characters" shelf/tag because of Matheus, but this time, even though I didn't like Matheus as much, I'm leaving it there because of Quin. Not only was he funny, he's just crazy and deadly enough that he's the type of character who's likeable if you're on his side but terrifying if you're not.The man took a half-step back. Matheus didn’t blame him. No one wanted to trifle with someone who could smile through a shattered cheekbone.But for all the humor, there was some deeper emotion (not like make-you-cry, but like Matheus-felt-things) and questioning of morality, like when Matheus found out he was a vampire, when he killed for the first time, and after the traumatizing experience in woods. There was also some intensity, like when they were being hunted and during various other scenes I can't explain because of spoilers. And the author didn't shy away from disturbing, gritty things in the darker scenes. It was kind of an odd juxtaposition, but it worked, and those scenes managed to suck me in even more than the funny ones. That being said, it's still not a book to be taken too seriously.But oh, the romance (or lack thereof) was the best part! Talk about a slow burn. I believe the anticipation of things is half the fun. So yes, please do torture me by drawing out the romance until I feel like I'm going to explode if they don't JUST KISS ALREADY AND DAMMIT, MILO, COULD YOUR TIMING WITH INTERRUPTIONS BE ANY WORSE??? What was I saying? Oh yes. I love it because, once they do kiss, *sigh* it's that much better. And this book was delightfully torturous in that regard."What happened?”“Nothing. Milo interrupted.”“Damn Milo.”My thoughts exactly.Not only that, Matheus and Quin made the perfect couple. And by couple, I mean not a couple. And by perfect, I mean they constantly bickered and only half-teasingly threatened to maim each other (as you do when you're a vampire). But I have never read about two characters who just seemed to fit and complement each other so perfectly. Their senses of humor, their temperaments, and their personalities balanced and meshed so well. And I swooned so hard when Quin explained why he calls Matheus by the nickname Sunshine. Even though turning Matheus without consent was wrong (he's a vampire, he's been alive 1,700 years, I don't expect paranormal/immortal creatures to act using the same set of morals as humans), Quin was good to him, taught him, tried to give him space, and did do some sweet things.So overall, some of the humor was a little problematic, but I loved the slow burn romance, and the story and characters kept me hooked until the end!Recommended For:M/M vampire book fans looking for something fun with sarcastic characters, slow burn romance, and some intensity mixed with their humor.Original Review @ Metaphors and Moonlight

  • Rose
    2019-05-16 00:56

    Post read: Full review to come. Not as good as I was hoping it would be, but it had some interesting moments. I read this (finally!) during the three-week hiatus I had from the internet. Thinking over the rating still, but I'm settling between 2.5 and 3 stars. Pre-read:I requested this on NetGalley, and admittedly, from both the title and blurb, this sounds interesting. I hope I get a chance to read it.Edit: YAY!!! I got the galley! This should be on my reading list very soon. :P

  • Chris, the Dalek King
    2019-05-13 04:36

    Matheus Taylor just wanted to disappear. He's pretty sure getting himself murdered was the epitome of "be careful what you wish for" coming to haunt his newly undead ass. But he can't undo his undeadness, no matter how hard he wishes. Or how hard he wants to send his murderer straight into the daylight. Except, Quin--asshole, murderer, and annoying temptation--just might be waking parts of Matheus that he thought long, long dead. Not that Matheus is gay. Nope. And that whole annoying erection was just a reflex action. Besides, Quin is a murdering asshole. Wanting to be flat on his back while Quin's body pins him between mattress and pure frustrating temptation...well, that's just the bond talking. Right?There is no time to spend on protestations--or prostrations--though, 'cause something or someone is picking off the undead. And, unfortunately, Quin seems intent on throwing himself into situations that require Matheus to save his ancient ass. Not that Matheus has any clue how to go about doing that. Or why he would want to.Sometimes, death makes life look like a freaking cakewalk. And, sometimes, life after death makes cake look like soggy biscuits.Matheus and Quin are my favorite type of vampires. Quin has lived long enough to realize that he is who he is, and that while it isn't the best situation in the world, he's not going to go all emo about being a vamp. And Matheus, who totally hates what has happened to him, dislikes what he has to do to survive, but--and thank god for this--doesn't spend the entire book whining about how he has to drink blood now, and he is a monster and a whole bag of Woe Is Me! It is a relief to read a story where I don't have to spend the whole book wanting to pry open the mouth of the vampire and just poor blood down their throat so that they will stop being such an annoying ass.* Life hasn't been kind to either man, and well, death seems intent on kicking both of their asses, but I love how they refuse to bow down and die. Matheus has a few moments of weakness, of wanting to do anything to go back to his old life--where at least everything was sane, if not happy--but he pulls himself together and sees that a life spent trying to be something he's not is far worse than making a life out of something he never wanted. And Quin refuses to stop fighting, even when he thinks he's fighting Matheus. I have a bit of a thing for supernatural bonds, but I'm not a big fan of the whole insta-love that comes with it sometimes. Not that that is a problem here. Insta-hate, or fear, or just plain annoyance, would be a better descripter of what these two feel when they--or really Quin--bind themselves together. We are never really told clearly why Quin does it, and Matheus certainly wishes he hadn't, but I like the connection between them. This undefined link between them serves as a link binding two people that would, at times, rather kick than kiss each other. There is not a whole lot of romance in this book, but there is an awful lot of heat, and want, and almost touches, that you get the feeling that no matter how much Matheus want to deny he's gay, or Quin wants to be all mysterious and aloof, that they are going to collide and when they do it is going to be magnificent.If there is any downside to this book it is that bloody cliffhanger. I didn't want the story to stop, and when it did I felt like crying, or going back and reading it all again. I'm a big fan of snark, a huge fan of sexual tension, and a believer that vampires should only sparkle if you dump a bucket of glitter on them (and then, of course, they'll eat you, but they'll be sparkly when the do it!). I like the darkness in this story and that it never goes full on black-out because you have the wonderful snide jokes and simmering lust between Quin and Matheus. It kept me reading straight through the night, and right up until dawn. Rather fitting for a book about two of my new favorite vampires. 5 stars, and a pleading note to publish the second book quick. Please.*Might, sometimes, have the same impulse around vegans, but I don't look good in orange, and I think one member of my dad's family parading around behind bars is quite enough.

  • Experiment BL626
    2019-05-12 03:03

    The book bored me silly. I thought with a satire title the book would be funny. It wasn’t. Oh, there was one joke at Twilight’s expense but it was more of a nod to the title than a true attempt at humor. Other than that, the book had nothing that could be deemed funny whatsoever. The book was 90% filler, 10% plot, and I’m being lenient.+ the charactersMatheus was whiny and reckless. He never persisted in seeking answers as he should have. Many questions should have been answered on the spot for the sake of the plot. Those answers would have educated him and more importantly, the reader. They would have explained what the fuck that was going on. It was absurd how Quin repeatedly and voluntarily put himself in danger with Matheus rashly chasing after him as if both had a death wish. I hated how despite his attraction to Quin, Matheus kept insisting that he was not gay and that being gay is all right but he’s not gay. The dude protested too much. Nobody was fooled.Quin humored Matheus too much. He acted too mellow and patient with Matheus’s crap to be convincing as an antediluvian master vampire. I wished he took more care to discipline Matheus because the dude needed it, if not for Matheus than for me and my patience. However, what I truly took issue was his reticence. Quin was not a silent person but rarely did he ever say things that mattered, things that revealed his motives for all the seemingly random actions that he did. I never learned why he turned Matheus and claimed him as his soul mate.+ the plotThere were a lot of things that I never learned that the book should have told me. Dialogues were rarely meaningful. In the rare occasions that they were and gave long-desired answers, they didn’t have the impact on the characters that they should have. “Oh, my ex-girlfriend/childhood friend was a werewolf all along? Okey dokey. Let’s return to chatting about meaningless shit.” Virtually everything, from the dialogue to the action, was delivered in a deadpan way.The plot lacked that pull that keeps a reader reading. The reasons I finished the book at all were because of my unreasonable distaste to leave a book unfinished and my obligation to review the book. Not until the last third of the book did the plot finally seemed like it was going in a direction instead of wandering around like a bored kid. On the rising action part of the plot, readers learn a war was being waged between vampires and vampires-hating humans, something so incredibly important it should have been declared immediately in the beginning.What was worse was that it was not until the last minute did the relationship between Matheus and Quin made an inch of progress. I knew this book was not a mm-romance, but FFS. I couldn’t believe it took so long for Matheus to even consider accepting his feelings for Quin. I couldn’t believe Quin never made a move and communicated his feelings towards Matheus. It was cliché how it took something seriously dangerous, with both men on the edge of life and true death, for them to open up to one another.Equally bad was the fact that the ending was left open. The villains weren’t defeated. Nothing was resolved. Nothing.In ConclusionI rate Real Vampires Don’t Sparkle 2-stars for it was okay but only because I was bored and not actively annoyed. Though the writing was competent, the storytelling was crap. The book was a pointless time-suck. Do not recommend.

  • Mags~CVAddikt~
    2019-05-02 02:03

    I read it just for the title ...Well ... aside from Lover At Last, I'm not into homo-sexy-vampire books ... but this one seemed funny and witty, so I gave it a try .. (The title ... ok??? it was the title!!)Quin and Matheus are pretty much a modern version of my first vampire love (I'm not kidding ... I was in love with vampires the moment I watched Interview with the Vampire).Lestat and Louis!!!! This amazing pic was drawn by Satomi-ChanQuin is the cool dangerous and sexy gay vamp (Lestat), he turned whiny Matheus (Louis). Quin tries to teach Matheus the way to be a vamp but Matheus is reluctant to assimilate his new vamp side... or his gay side... ohh and he also has daddy issues ... courtesy of Matheus true identity ... (I'll shut up now ... no spoilers)Well ... that's when the similarities between IWTV and RVDS ends ... The banter between the characters is pretty good, I was laughing so hard a couple of times :PQuin is the bad ass old powerful openly gay vampire, and he has the patience of a saint!!! He puts up with Matheus whining and childish tantrums ... also with his denial "To be or not to be gay?". 'Cause Quin wants Matheus, but Matheus does not want to want Quin.And Matheus ... poor guy, he got rid of his controlling father just to be turned vampire against his will and having Quin telling him what to do. On top of that, he now has to fight the attraction to Quin ... see ... Matheus swears he's straight.There are other fun characters, like Bianca and Alistar ... ahh Bianca drunk on pain killers thinking the stuffed teddy bears were plotting against her ... that was hilarious ... The book ending was very ... mhhh ... abrupt ... I mean ... that was no ending ... Here is the rest of the story you want a light funny reading with gay vamps, werewolves and some crazy fanatics ... give this book a chance!!!Net Galley!!!! provided me the book in exchange for my honest review.

  • Sandra
    2019-04-26 22:44

    The title first caught my eye with its not so subtle dig, and the summary sure sounded very interesting, so I requested the galley. Thanks, Curiosity Quills, for the approval.The book has a somewhat interesting plot, what plot there is, but enough snarky dialogue to keep me entertained throughout. Matheus and Quin, his Sire, have an antagonistic relationship from the start, what with Quin killing Matheus and turning him into a vampire, something that Matheus doesn't quite appreciate. Both of them are rather adept at keeping secrets from each other, and both pay the price for doing so. The author wrote a character driven novel that relies on both Matheus and Quin primarily to keep it going. And while Matheus questions his attraction to Quin, and thus his sexuality, not knowing whether the appendage in question even still functions, now that he's undead, he also learns about how to be a vampire. Quin is a very complex but secretive character, and since we only see him through Matheus' eyes, the reader has to be watchful for the subtle hints that show his real persona. Matheus is mostly whiny, demands to not be treated as a child but acts like one, and never seems to persist in asking the questions he needs answered. He doesn't seem to want to admit that he has to rely on Quin for support, and refuses to let Quin buy him gifts (oh, hello, Bella Swan). He also refused to listen to reason, and feels compelled to go against what he's been told at most opportunities. It wasn't entirely clear whether that's because he has Bella Swan syndrome or is just hellbent on acting like an idiot. Oh, wait...The supporting cast is nothing much to write home about either. A few other vampires, a werewolf and some bad humans have a role to fulfill in this book. In actuality, most of the humans in this novel, with only two exceptions, were portrayed as horrific examples of their race, and those two were also not much explored. One was looked upon like some loon who had the hots for Matheus, and the other is mostly brainwashed by her father. The rest of the humans in this book are despicable, horrible and outright evil creatures to the extent of being caricatures. Still, the best parts of the novel were when Matheus and Quin snark with and at each other. And even though there are a couple of kisses, and a very confused Matheus, this isn't a romance. This book was cruising towards three star territory, and would have gotten there, if it hadn't been for a couple of issues:- If you choose to use German in your novel, please do not rely on online reviewers/betas to provide you with the proper spelling or expressions. I found numerous errors, that would have been avoided by a native speaker. I am one, and it's one of my pet peeves when a non-native tries to insert a language they are not familiar with. Google Translate is not your friend, and more often than not incorrect. Always, always, always triple-check with more than one native speaker. - There are also grammatical, spelling and punctuation errors inside that a proofreader should have caught. I hope these errors were fixed prior to publication. - The ending sucked left me very unsatisfied. It seemed to stop in the middle of a chapter, without explanation, and certainly without a promise of a continuation. While it came after the climax of the story, it still didn't provide the closure I expected. - Then, I found out, by the author's admission at the end of the book, that this was a story previously posted on, an online fiction archive, which is supposedly where the author is continuing the story, or where the continuation can be found. This so very much explains why the book is full of meaningless, yet snarky and thus entertaining dialogue, and in dire need of a thorough edit to tighten the narrative, remove the scenes that serve no purpose and make this book, with the great potential it had, into something that's worthy of four stars.I received a free ARC from the publisher via Netgalley. A positive review was not promised in return.

  • Sarah
    2019-05-10 22:39

    3.5 starsI have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand I really enjoyed it. On the other hand, both Matheus and Quin annoyed me at times. Yes Matheus did whine more than I liked, but I enjoyed his humor a lot. Quin is a dick, but I liked his interaction with Matheus.Be warned, this book is cliffhanger! Part of me is mad that I read the book because now I must read the second. Overall, I did enjoy the book.

  • Наталья
    2019-05-26 00:05

    3.5-4Это первый роман, который я могла спокойно отложить и при этом вернуться, сохраняя интерес. Книга вызвала неоднозначные эмоции и впечатления.В новинку для меня стала подача вампиров как таковых. Название говорит само за себя - настоящие вампиры не сверкают (да, были отсылки к Сумеркам). Они показаны без прикрас, без романтики. Вампиры не обладают ни сверхсилой, ни паранормальными способностями, ни божественной красотой. Они - те же самые люди, только с клыками, на диете из человеческой крови, засыпающие мертвым сном на восходе и сгорающие на солнце.Матеус был обращен не по своей воле. И радоваться жизни в новом качестве причин у него нет - надо убивать людей для питания, остерегаться охотников, других могущественных вампиров и людей, которые ставят опыты на таких как он. И это не считая жизни с самим Квином, который его обратил по неизвестным причинам, не дает ступить шагу самостоятельно и не объясняет свои поступки и намерения.Отсутствие объяснений является одним из недостатков сюжета. Почему обратил, куда пошёл, как попал в плен, что было в пакете, зачем нужны документы и т.д. Вопросов очень много, а ответов почти нет.Другим минусом книги является бессмысленность сюжета на протяжении большей части. Когда читаешь любовный роман, то ждёшь развития отношений и HEA. Если это приключения или саспенс - то поиска, расследования, спасения от чего-то или кого-то. Какая-либо цель у повествования обычно вырисовывается на раннем этапе. Здесь же ничего не объясняется, и поэтому сюжетной линии не видно, не понятно для чего все происходит. Живут, спят, питаются, общаются, попадают в непонятные передряги. Более-менее что-то определилось во второй половине книге, и тут я читала без перерыва на другие романы.Много-много разговоров, что для некоторых станет еще одним минусом. Мне эти перепалки, иначе не назовешь, не мешали. Матеус все свои мысли и слова приправляет сарказмом, и диалоги с его участием забавляют.Романтическая линия здесь только наметилась. Мы имеем полтора поцелуя и ни каких обещаний развития.Что касается, самих героев, то и они тоже далеки от совершенства. Квин, загадочный и скрытный, часто бесит свои нежеланием отвечать на вопросы. Матеус периодически ведет себя как подросток, но его можно понять в сложившихся обстоятельствах. Другие персонажи интересны в своем разнообразии.И еще один недостаток у книги, а точнее у серии в целом - это концовки. Первая книга просто неожиданно обрывается, про вторую пишут, что она заканчивается клифхэнгером, а третья еще и не издана. Мне интересно продолжение, но я не возьмусь читать дальше, пока не выйдет третья и в отзывах не напишут, что там будет развязка. Хорошо, что она хоть уже написана.

  • Meep
    2019-05-24 21:05

    Currently free on amazon.Only got to 2%I thought from the title this was going to be a light funny romp and perhaps it is; I quite liked the intro but then the story started and there were too many bodily fluids - of the non-blood sort (view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)]. Seemed more distasteful than funny. Not a book to be starting on your lunch break.Humour and squicks are both individual - you might like it.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Vicki
    2019-05-01 21:35

    OMG, how have I not heard about this series before? This is in the top 5 of fav books read this year. The MC's are full of character and sarcasm. The secondaries and the world are creative and interesting. The dialogue is off the charts. The pacing is good and it has lots of action. I read all 3 books back to back and forgot about the rest of the world until I was finished. I am so glad that all 3 had been published by the time I found out about it or I would have gone crazy.I listened to this book on audio. The narrator, James Patrick Cronin was phenomenal. Both MC voices suited them to a T. And the sarcasm just oozed from the speakers. He was able to give each character a slightly different sound so that following who was speaking was not a problem. And he does a really good job with female voices as well.

  • Kristin
    2019-04-29 20:55

    Just like the title suggests this is not your typical vampire story. There is no love at first sight. No tame "vegetarian" vampires. What there is though is a gruesome story about a guy who was turned against his will, bonded to his Sire and must come to terms that the things that go bump in the night are real. "Forget what you saw in the movies. We don't turn into bats, we don't sparkle, and we don't have sex with our prey."The book is written in Matheus' point of view and I must say, I am not a Matheus fan. He whined throughout the entire book. Every chance he got he complained that Quin turned him. He must have called Quin a "bastard" at least 40 times in the story if not more. All he did was bicker with Quin and whine about his circumstance. He also was thoroughly confused about his sexuality the entire time. He would feel things for Quinn but then push him away, and sulk in his room. He constantly would say "I'm not gay" to the point that I just wanted him to shut up. "People in Zambia know. The anal-probing aliens tha tpick up hicks on back roads know. When they buzz by in their invisible spaceships, they go, 'oh, no Matheus Taylor. We can't pick him up. He's not gay.'"I thought Quin's character was really interesting. He is but isn't your typical vampire. Granted he has no qualms about killing humans for his food, he has a code and he sticks to them. For instance he will not attack pregnant women or children. There's even a part in the book where Quin senses a pregnant women is about to become a meal and he kills the vampires who were about to attack her. He also gives Matheus spaces when he needs it, buys him the car that he wanted but knowing that Matheus wouldn't accept a car from him, he says he bought it for himself but since he doesn't drive, Matheus will have to drive the car for him. But at the same time he was conniving and ruthless when it came to getting answers or when dealing with other vampires. He was by far the glue that kept the story together. "Quin's smile was open and innocent and as fake as the tits on a stripper."I liked that there weren't butterflies and rainbows to this story. There was a lot of action between the hunt (hunters who release vampires in a remote area and hunt them for sport), vampire conflict and then the big climatic point in the story, there was a lot going on. I really wish that Matheus wasn't such a pansy the entire time but he seemed to finally come to terms with the hand he's been dealt both with the vampirism and his sexuality. The one sucky part about this book though, it literally just ends. I was a little confused when I flipped to the next page and found the acknowledgments section. There has got to be another book after this since there are so many questions left unanswered. The bad guy (to the vampires) is still loose and at large. If the author does write another book to this story I will definitely pick it up. I just hope to God that Matheus grows up in that book. Favorite quote..."You're a stalker. That's creepy. Really goddamned creepy. Stop following me. They give out pamphlets about that kind of behavior. Showing up in a pamphlet is never good, Quin."

  • Yzabel Ginsberg
    2019-05-08 00:59

    (I got this book from NetGalley, in exchange for a honest review.)There are good ideas in this novel, but I think it's in need of serious editing and cutting for the story to become more interesting. While there was some humour in it, and a few dialogue lines that made me smile, things tended to go on for too long in between plot points, without necessarily providing information and/or character growth. It made me feel like the story was dragging on, and in turn, I had a hard time pushing myself to read it.The characters have their interesting sides, and some dialogues had a nice dynamics—what can I say, I like a dose of healthy snark. On the other hand, too often they behaved like drama queens, with a lot of pouting, glaring and other behaviours I'd associate to teenage girls rather than to grown-up men, especially when those are supposed to have lived for centuries and be all badass otherwise. Matheus struck me as childish most of the time, and only in the very last part did he seem to partly grow out of this. I expected Quin to be less patient with his antics, and show him things the hard way, instead of letting him pout and whine, with the occasional outburst. (Same with Alistair, who in my opinion should have been old enough to get over it.) Not to mention that Quin kept too much to himself, which led to Matheus not understanding, demanding answers, being denied them, throwing a tantrum, then dropping the matter—only to run after Quin when the latter went out to do something dangerous.As for the plot itself, it's quite hard to define. It was partly too full (the hunters, Zeb's book, Milo's role, Bianca, the 'real bad guys'...), and yet at the same time went too slowly, being glazed over in favour of what I might called "filling up". Also, in the end, several things remained to be solved. Was there a traitor? Why did Quin claim Matheus, what prompted him to turn him instead of just murdering him? Perhaps this story would have fared better if divided between two books, and with less bantering in between turning points. For instance, Matheus discovering the world of vampires, going on his first hunts, being confronted to Grigori and the others, and to the hunters, would've made a complete story in itself. The way things were, I found those aspects weren't explored enough, and left too much room instead to those behaviours I mentioned above—which sure didn't fit well with what the title had led me to expect.It looks like this is the first volume, and another one will follow, hopefully bringing answers. However, I'm still convinced it would've fared better with more editing, even if this meant going with two books instead of the one. The war mentioned in the last third would really deserve its own story, set apart from the rest—or be made the main plot from the beginning, without all the interruptions in between.

  • Jane
    2019-05-04 01:55

    Oh, wow. I never expected to fall head over heels in love with this book, but I did. It was almost like a love at first sight as I was completely bewitched by the humour and sarcasm in this book. I laughed constantly and I am completely enamored with Quin and Matheus. Continue reading my review HERE.The Book Challengers blog // The Book Challengers Instagram // The Book Challengers Twitter

  •  Joyce
    2019-05-14 21:39

    I would consider this a more YA book then a MM book. Many YA books saw more sex, not even a ton of sex talk. Just not my thing.

  • EscaPe iNTo thE PaGEs
    2019-05-17 04:04

    4.5 stars!

  • ~nikki the recovering book addict
    2019-05-16 03:51

    Good but stagnatedI’ll be honest and say I liked parts of it and didn’t like parts of it. I like that we’re brought through the story instead of having data dumped at us. I also liked that the author assumed we were smart enough to read between the lines and understand how one character made the decision they did instead of spelling out how Matheus knew Quin was hiding in the outhouse. Lol... I also liked Matheus’ sense of humour. His character cracked me up. I didn’t like though, that Matheus was so whiny. Even up till the end. He’s had months to come to terms with his undead status. It was getting annoying that his character stayed stagnant. His petulance was becoming less endearing and getting more annoying. Also, it boggles the mind that a 1700 year old vampire would always rush towards danger so much so that he always ends up needing to be rescued by a newbie. I mean, you would think he’s had 1700 years of wisdom and lack of crazy impulse. That made it something that moved the plot line along rather than feeling like an organic progression of the story. There were a lot of things happening. But it also felt a lot like running on the spot instead of having a destination in mind. There were lots of action. Lots of fighting but, I think we could have gotten further along in the story though...I do like Matheus, regardless of his bipolar and whiny ways. I also like Quin but like he’s another contradiction. A man who dresses immaculately but slouches like a sloth the moment he’s not standing. Quite a conundrum, both of these characters. But it may not be enough for me to continue with this series... I don’t know. I haven’t decided...

  • WhatAStrangeDuck
    2019-05-18 22:42

    There is a pretty great book in there. It needs a bit of tough-love editing (mostly a bit of tightening of the plot). But it's there. Great banter, I like the characters and the story is not half-bad. It just needs some red ink. Still, I chuckled more than once and I kind of enjoy reading it - not all the time but most of the time. So that is a solid 3.4 stars. Good potential and since it's on KU, I'll just jump into the next one.[EDIT: Also, dear author, or any author who reads this, really, if you need a native speaker to translate a few sentences to German, just give me a shout. The German in this book was not super terrible but also not entirely correct. It's not the end of the world but also easily avoidable. I won't translate whole books because I already do have a job but I can manage a sentence or two now and again.]

  • Teresa
    2019-05-17 22:36

    Not what I thought but still good- So... with the title I was expecting some pwp, silly erotic vampire novel. What I got was a completely sex free true horror vampire book with lots of wit and snark. These vampires are the real deal - killing to feed and merciless. And yet Matheus is different. Where it's because of his age or just him in general, he is not happy about his situation. I really liked the characters and although frustrated with the very slow burn, want to read the next book. This one ended quite abruptly and there is so much more to their story!(One last note, the setting was hard to imagine as there were a lot of britshisms. So many I thought the author was British (she's not, she's from Maine) and the location was originally in England (it's not, I think they're in Florida due to a comment made about a highway, but that doesn't make sense as there was snow...)

  • F.
    2019-04-29 23:58

    Lots of snark!!! Matheus didn't ask to be turned and lets the world know about it. Unfortunately he has some weird bond with Quin, his murderer/turner, and feels his pain. Someone is trying to eliminate the vampires and Quin is trying to find out who. I figured out the twist early but it didn't ruin my enjoyment of the story. Normally I don't like bloody violence but can overlook it easier in fantasy books.5 stars

  • Jeannie Zelos
    2019-05-11 21:35

    Real Vampires Don't Sparkle Amy Fecteau ARC supplied by Netgalley. This sounded interesting from the description. Vampires – a weakness of mine – but in the “old” style, ones that drink human blood and kill, not – as the title says – ones that sparkle and are sweet.... I'm not entirely sure what genre its classed though, definitely fantasy/paranormal but not a deep edge of seat thriller, more an adventure, and it's not a heart-stopping romance though its clear fairly quickly that Quin, who's powerful, very old and openly gay, is more than interested in Mattheus although he's very patient. Mattheus keeps announcing to all he's “not gay!” but finds himself having strange feelings for Quin and wonders if its a latent gay trait or connected to their claiming bond. There's some great humour too, Him Indoors kept saying “that must be a funny book” as I hadn't realised but several times I was quietly sniggering to myself. I just love the snarky dialogue between Quin and Mattheus. Two well educated people using language to the fullest and adding a richness to the book. Too many novels now are dumbed down to words of very few syllables and its a treat to see an author not afraid to use unusual terminology, and not assuming readers aren't capable of following good literacy. Poor Mattheus, he thought he'd escaped from an overbearing father then Quin turns him unasked, and he's being told what to do all over again. Quin himself reminded me of Quentin Crisp from The Naked Civil Servant, that extreme compulsion of neatness in dress sense, and the witty, urbane, droll but often incredibly cruel snarkiness when others annoy him. My favourite Q.C. quote is that the dust doesn't get any worse after four years :) Though he shows extreme patience in some ways with Mattheus, he's quickly irritated with others and isn't afraid to let them know it. He has a fearsome reputation in the supernatural world, and Mattheus is one of the few people that dare to argue and shout at him. Quin seems to find it refreshing to have someone who isn't afraid of him and is willing to argue rather than just nod and agree with every word – though Mattheus sometimes goes too far the other way and sounds like a petulant child. That's not a crit BTW but what happens and Quin then makes the most of it. There were some other fun characters too, Bianca, a long lost friend of Mattheus who turns out to be a supernatural creature – and that shocks poor Mattheus as despite being friends for a long time he had no idea. Then there's handsome Alistair, still languishing over a crush on Quin, epitome of Gayness in his simpering sycophancy that drives Mattheus to some cruel taunts. The man eating (literally and figuratively ) Juliet strikes fear into Mattheus with the way she seems to want to ravish him, the Trio of power holders consisting of the vapid seeming but incredibly cruel Appolonia, frankly just weird Grigori and the collector and vampire genealogy fanatic Zeb. Quin is more powerful than any of the trio but isn't interested in power holding so allows them to keep a balance and feel “in charge”.Its a novel full of curious ambiguities and political ramifications that mirror so much of real life. The humour is superb, the characters richly drawn and full of “life” – well how else can you describe active and realistic vampires? There's the Hunters – not out to kill through stalking and staking but who want to enjoy the thrill of a chase and enjoy a sort of “paint-ball” game but with vampire targets. They capture and hold vampires ready for their games...The politics of vampire society, the homophobia and openly gay balance, the ethics of vampires killing people to live v humans killing animals to live, and of course the Secrets. It seems everyone is keeping secrets from each other, and it all comes to a head in a quite dramatic finale. The book was a fun read, and from the way it ended I think we may hear more from Quin and Mattheus and the others. Certainly its left open for the secrets that were revealed to have further ramifications. Trust and secrets, and the problems that arise when they come out (unintended pun!) Despite the clear feelings on Quins' side there is a slow burn feel to the romance, with Mattheus struggling with feelings which make him uncomfortable and question his Liberal stance. There's nothing more than a few touches, embraces at times of crisis and finally a few stolen kisses but it shows how one can write romance without being openly graphic. Not that I'm against that, but its good to read a novel where thought is put into how to show feelings without the eternal quick bed hopping so many books contain. Doing it this way must in many ways be more difficult, because it means putting more emphasis on glances, actions and thoughts. I like it though and it works really well here. At £3.08 for 386 pages its very fairly priced, and for those who want a novel that's more than just sparkly, tweenage, sweetly romantic vampires its well worth reading. Stars: I'd love to give it five for the fantastic use of the English language thats so rare now in books, but the actual storyline doesn't grab me in the way a five star book needs to. Its a very well deserved four though, and I really hope we hear more from Quin and Mattheus.

  • Diane Dannenfeldt
    2019-05-22 00:04

    I really had a hard time getting into this one. I might try the next book in the series as this did end on a cliffhanger & would like to see these two actually hooking up. Going into the story I didn't realize that these two don't in this book.

  • Rae
    2019-05-22 02:43

    So this would have been a four star book if it hadn't been for the ending. My problem with the ending was that there wasn't one. I reached the last chapter and there wasn't a next one. It was like the story just stopped and there was no real conclusion. It wasn't until I was poking at the publisher's website wondering if there was something wrong with my ebook when I discovered that this is a collected volume of weekly serial fiction. Suddenly a whole lot of things about this book made sense (and gave me a chance to read the new chapters that aren't in a collected volume yet). But still, a volume 1 or something similar somewhere on the book or in the description would have been a nice heads up. Anyway, on to discussing the story itself. The story is very character driven rather than plot driven. This book's greatest strength lies in the banter between the various characters. The dialog is snarky and the two main characters, Quin and Matheus, constantly bicker like an old married couple. The situations they get themselves into also tend to be funny without resorting to slapstick humor. If you like snappy dialog and subtle humor, this is definitely the book for you. The story doesn't rely on humor alone though and things do mellow out a bit as the action starts to get serious later on.The plot moves slowly and the world building and plot points are doled out little by little. The book sometimes teases you by almost giving you an answer to a question or resolution to a conflict and then having the moment interrupted. This is most likely due to its origins as serial fiction. Some readers not suitably entertained by other aspects of the book may get frustrated by this.Matheus can be immature and whiny at times and there were moments where I found myself rooting for Quin or whomever he was arguing with at the time. The moments pop up less as the story goes on and the book does offer an explanation for why he acts the way he does.As a whole I did enjoy the story. There's a lot of witty descriptions and the book is a fairly quick read despite its length. If you're unsure as to whether this book is for you, check out the sample pages or read a few chapters on the publisher's website. If the humor suits your taste, you'll probably like the book.

  • J
    2019-05-06 03:41

    The ratio of page length to plot points was a bit skewed. I think some paring down of witty banter and shortened lulls between action scenes would have been the final polish needed. For example, the hunt scene early in the narrative was laid out with clear intent, but then the story veered away from what appeared to be its initial focus, and the motivation for subsequent multiple attacks from a different antagonist were less than fully explained.Nonetheless, originality in Fecteau's observations and visual imagery kept me reading - and enjoying. For example, "He wished he still had a heartbeat. The panic running amok in his mind felt odd without the accompanying symptoms..." We also easily visualize a van bounding down a country road at high speed when the MC is compared to a "seed inside of a maraca." And, "He performed the dance of the arachnophobe, hands groping over hair and exposed skin, jumping at each tiny twinge."Matheus' relationship with his father, and the residual damage from it was compared to "...a murder on a TV show. The blood looked cleaned away but one quick spray of luminol...and suddenly everything stood out, bright and clear." Unfortunately, the story's lynchpin which would have brought everything together - the confrontation and perceived betrayal involving Matheus and his father, had some of the more pedantic, weaker dialogue in the entire novel.Some lines were most effective when they were delivered with subtlety, but these were few and far between, such as "He found himself thinking of hawks and sympathizing with the field mouse," or, "He had never met a woman so elaborately feminine." And, "'O-' Death captured the remaining syllables."I'm not sure whether to invest this same amount of time in a sequel, if the two main characters continue with more snark than self-discovery or chemistry.

  • Dana
    2019-05-10 23:42

    I actually listened to the audio version of this book but it's not giving me the option to review that. I thought the narrator was decent. When he first spoke as Quin, I found his voice on the strange side, but I got over it quickly as the story wrapped me up. It was good though that the narrator did differentiate voices so that the listener knew for sure who was speaking. The story was great. So much humor, and hilarious quotes. It can barely be categorized as a romance, Mattheus is extremely stubborn, about everything really, but mostly about his sexuality. Quin has an extraordinary amount of patience with Mattheus, who can be a bit on the whiny/bitchy side. But it didn't make me hate Mattheus, he was great for his sharp sarcasm that mostly comes off funny. Quin, Mattheus, and other supernatural beings are all facing a common problem in this book. Not only are there hunters who want them dead, but a group hoping to perform "research" on them. By research, I mean torture. And of course I did see it coming, that someone close to Mattheus in the past is in charge, but even knowing that it had to be that person, I loved how it all unfolded. The story ends on a weird note. It's not exactly a cliffhanger to me, but more of a incomplete feeling at the end. "That's it?" went through my mind. I didn't feel like I had to have the next book or I would go crazy, but I did have another audio credit, so I got Real Vampires Do it in the Dark to see what further awaited Quin and Mattheus. Despite the strange finish, I really loved the book. I give it 4.5 stars.

  • Lisa
    2019-05-21 02:42

    Mattheus is killed in an alley by Quin, a 1700 year old vampire, and then his life really goes to hell.This book takes place over the first few months that Mattheus is a vampire.Its funny with lots of snarky comments between the two of them. A cast of great secondary characters. However, if anything it is a little on the long side, ends abruptly and there is NO sex on its 386 pages!That said, I will read book 2 some time in the future.

  • Forever Young Adult
    2019-05-04 02:01

    Gradedf By: Mandy W. Cover Story: Awful but AccurateBFF Charm: Yay!Swoonworthy Scale: 8Talky Talk: Effing Straight UpBonus Factors: Vampires, Banter, DiversityRelationship Status: Cheesy Pickup Line That Became a Hot (But Chaste) DateRead the full book report here.

  • Nene
    2019-05-20 00:38

    OkayFirst time reading something from this Author, it was what I thought it was going to be but it was a okay read. Can't wait to see what happens next.

  • Steph ☀️
    2019-05-24 20:57

    Great start! ***Found another that I forgot to post :/ ***I found myself between loving this book and liking this book. To elaborate, there were times when reading this story I was so engrossed that time passed without a thought. Meaning adulting was put on hold. Then there were a few times that I felt it was okay to step away to say wash the dishes. The characters, Matheus and Quin, were a very interesting duo. I don't know if this is what the author intended but this is what I felt. For majority of the book, I would say about 80% of it, I felt like Matheus and Quin were more enemies/acquaintances than anything else. However, as the story progressed from this point there was a scene where I started to see the relationship between them turning into a more positive light.The thing that binds them is their sarcasm and quick retort towards one another. On top of that Matheus is very cynical. I will say, for me the story really didn't pick up until Matheus was introduced to the other vampires in the area; that when it started to get a bit more interesting.The author does a really good job with world building. I really like how not all the information is given to the reader upfront; that the author has a time and a place to slowly divulge bits and pieces of information. Especially, about Matheus’ family nor did we know what Quinn was after. So, to be more blunt; be patient because it is worth the wait. Of course, there is a cliffhanger. I can’t say much because spoilers and all. I do hope when all is said and done, Matheus and Quin get their HEA.

  • Amber
    2019-05-26 23:03

    Four stars for the snark and humor alone. I liked the fact that this isn't an insta-love book. Most of the it is a toss up whether or not the MC actually like each other or not. They snipe at each other and fight a great deal but there is still a pull between them. It is also interesting trying to see if that pull is part of the claiming or some more between the characters themselves. The only downside to this book is the major cliffhanger but luckily for me I can just move on to the next book.